the backstory: the econs paper is tomorrow and I’m currently lying on the bed feeling pretty sick while I’m typing this out.
A levels are…about 1/4 over so far? and to be honest, i’ve barely had any “exam feel” as of now. except today i mean, i am f u c k i n g scared shitless about econs, i mean, it’s my favourite subject and also the one for which i have high(est?) hopes for. i’ve got to get this A. i have to. and that means no careless mistakes tomorrow, no misreading the questions, no missing out one little part because who knows how much that might cost me? the pressure is totally different when you’re looking at just “doing your best” versus “getting an A”. with an actual target in mind it’s as if there is THAT 1.5m you’ve got to clear in the high jump segment for the sports event, 1.49m won’t cut it, it’s GOT TO BE 1.5m. it scares me. i’m afraid that i’m going to be totally fucked up for tomorrow’s paper and not meet up to anyone’s expectations at all. everyone jokes about not making it to uni but only a few actually not make it into uni. and goddamn i hope it’s not me. i’ve put in substantial effort for econs and i genuinely love it so much. except for market-fucking-structure because no, even i cannot bring myself down to that level. oligopoly/monopoly, please, may God bless yer sorry souls and save you guys for A levels batch of 2015 instead, thank you very much. i would so appreciate it. oh, and bell-curve god, please work in my favour. i swear i’ll give it all i’ve got tomorrow. with this A, at least i won’t be all sorry and embarrassed about my otherwise shitty results slip come April next year hahaha.
i’ve also realised that i’ve become a fairly negative person since this year but..ah fuck it. we can all be happy and dandy in…about two weeks time anyway. A levels ain’t givin’ us time to be cheery ’bout nothin’!
OKAY FINE. so i HAVEN’T entirely been engulfed by the Grinch okay, good luck to all still reading this space when y’al have a paper tomorrow & may the odds be ever in your favour okay? just don’t steal my A :p