Real thoughts on leaving

Wow time is really flying. I can’t believe it’s been 6, nearing 7 months since the A levels ended. 7 months…that’s approximately 7×30 days, 210 days??! Dafuq that is crazy. Plus it all happened in the blink of an eye. At first, we were all looking forward to the long holiday, the graduation trip to Aussie, then for me the Spain trip and wow would you look at that? Almost all of it is (or are??? I don’t even English anymore) over. 

It’s very scary to me that everyone is destined to move down a different path, most of them split between the 3 local unis (+SIM). Social circles colliding, distance coming in between everyone, and everyone is gonna continue to grow in their separate ways. And me, I’m going somewhere even further than everyone in Singapore and now that I’m thinking properly about it, it’s hella frightening. I don’t wanna be forgotten man. And not to sound selfish or what but I hate it when my social circles intersect HAHA. Like if my friendships were made into Venn diagrams, I would prefer each of them to be separate circles altogether. Oh well, of course I know to not be idealistic, and it’ll probably not happen as I hope but still. 😦 

Although I am thankful for the opportunity to go overseas to redeem myself despite the biggest screw up in my academic life, I’m reluctant to leave Singapore. It’s still about 3-4 months more because SO MUCH of my life is here. No matter which way you look at it, 19 years/MY WHOLE LIFETIME in one my home country is not a short duration. I don’t wanna come back and find that things have changed. I don’t want to!!! Of course I’ll make friends over at Lancaster, but no one would willingly uproot herself and head somewhere foreign right?? 

Friends pls don’t forget me when I go, cos I definitely would not forget y’all :”( 

Edit: oh and I forgot to add that this upcoming period is like when everyone is gonna be in a (Mc??)flurry of Busy with hall camps, uni prep etc and I’m just gonna be a sitting duck zzz how boring is that. I wanna join in leh!!! But I can’t obviously 😢 hopefully they’ll organise a meetup for those gg to Lancaster so we’ll get to orientate a bit and not be in our own bubbles when we go there. I don’t wanna find out all my friends’ updates via whatsapp & skype only I wanna be here for them sob!!! This is so sad and heartbreaking for me sigh. Ofc my family too lah, that’s a given. My grandparents, parents, aunties & uncles. Legit crying buckets now brb….in 4 YRS


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