Evil English Winds

This morning I had the fortune/misfortune of having an encounter with the English Wind. My dear friends from Singapore, if you think Singapore wind is wind, think again. Okay let’s just say that if Singapore wind was the occasional gentle breeze named Windy then the Evil English wind would be A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL-UP-ed EXTREMELY SCARY VERSION CALLED Evil English Wind. 

When facing the EEW, it is a battle between it and your umbrella. Your freaking umbrella better be military certified or some badass shit or else you’re better off not even carrying one cos that’ll only increase the surface area and hence pressure AGAINST you. Fancy getting whacked in the face with every step you take? The EEW is for you. Do you enjoy the menacing roar of the wind from outside your window? I can’t think of anything but the EEW. What? You LOVE seeing people’s overturned umbrellas? Oh hell the EEW is DEFINITELY FOR YOU!!!! Except you might be one of the victims of this blasted wind and that might be a funny image…

Dear EEW PLEASE SPARE ME. 

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